Accountability in Early Childhood
Katrina Cisne • December 9, 2024

When I think about what my goal is as an early childhood educator and as a parent of young children, I often think about the attributes I encounter with adults and what I would like my children to exude in the future. For me, and probably for many, I would like my children (biological and students) to become confident, resilient, caring, curious and independent individuals. Now comes the big question, how do we get there? 


Teaching children about choice and consequence is key. In building confidence, resilience, curiosity, and independence children must first make mistakes and learn from them. They must take risks and see what happens. They must face challenges and learn from their setbacks. In building kindness and empathy, children must learn how their choices and actions affect others. They must do all of this even if it makes them uncomfortable; especially when it makes them uncomfortable. For adults, this is the hardest part. In an interview, psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Amen stated “You want kids to make mistakes, and you want them to pay the consequences so they learn agency…It’s hard, you have to have the big picture in mind, and the long game in mind…if I do too much I am robbing them of their self-esteem, of their sense of responsibility and agency. And that is a disaster you just don’t want¹”


Let’s look at some definitions.


Accountability²: the quality or state of being accountable…willingness to accept responsibility or to account for one's actions


Empathy³: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another


Excuse⁴: a: to make apology for. b: to try to remove blame from


There is no doubt that balancing empathy and accountability can be tricky. During our community meeting in October, we discussed some barriers that families have encountered. 1. Parents who are not of the same mind either of what is acceptable behavior from the child or of the consequences from such behavior. 2. Consistency with limits and consequences, especially when big feelings become involved. 3. Knowing what are age appropriate expectations, limits and consequences. 4. Understanding the differences between punishment and logical consequence. 5. Knowing when you as a parent should step in. 


While we certainly don’t have the answers to all of these, here are a few tips we think may help.


  1. Have weekly family meetings. If your child is really young, perhaps these meetings are with you and your partner to check in and make sure you are on the same page.
  2. Parents need to present a united front when implementing limits and consequences. 
  3. Recognizing that it is acceptable for children to experience strong emotions but this does not mean that their upset feelings excuse them from taking responsibility for their actions. As Dr. Aliza Pressman states, “All feelings are welcome, all behaviors are not.”
  4. Teaching children boundaries is essential! “No, you may not jump on the bed” is perfect for a toddler. As children get older, they may require a bit more of the why. “No, you may not jump on the bed because if you fall you can hurt yourself.” 
  5. You should not repeat a boundary endlessly. Once a child knows the boundary we must follow through with the consequence. For example, on day 1 “Please pick up your toys when you are done. If toys are not picked up, I will have to take them away for a while.” Day 2. “Remember, toys that are not picked up will be taken away.” (child doesn’t clean up toys) “It looks like these toys were not picked up, now I am going to take them away.”
  6. The fundamental difference between a punishment and a consequence is that a punishment is meant to make a person feel bad or guilty while a consequence generally is meant to allow for a person to learn from their mistakes. Using the above example of a child who does not clean up their toys. A punishment might be something like. “If you don’t clean up your toys you will not have dessert.” Punishment is often unrelated to the behavior whereas a logical consequence is an outcome of the behavior. 
  7. Observe! Allow your child the opportunity to recognize a mistake and think about solutions. When the situation escalates to a point where safety is at risk, emotions are overwhelming for the child, or when the child is clearly unable to identify or implement a solution on their own then parents should step in to help regulate the child and help guide them to a solution. Ask yourself:
  8. Is this my own anxiety, am I telling a story to myself
  9. Is this about me, or is it an issue my child is having


In conclusion, fostering qualities like confidence, resilience, empathy, and independence in children is a nuanced and ongoing process. It requires a balance of teaching accountability while also allowing children the space to make mistakes, learn from them, and face consequences. As parents and educators, it's vital to remember that while children need to experience discomfort and challenges, they also need consistent boundaries and support to develop a sense of responsibility and agency. The key is to remain patient, reflective, and unified in your approach, understanding that mistakes and strong emotions are part of the learning journey. By combining empathy with accountability, we can help our children grow into well-rounded, thoughtful individuals who understand the impact of their actions, both for themselves and for others.



1https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avx4Ww9h3Tc

2. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/accountability

3. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy

4. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/excuse

5. Pressman, Aliza. The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your essential Guide to Raising Good Humans


Peace and Montessori Education

The Power of Montessori Education: A Path to Peace

By Renee Hites • March 4, 2026
In a world that often feels rushed and fragmented, Montessori education offers something rare: a place where children are truly seen. It is an approach built not just on academic achievement, but on the belief that education, real education, has the power to change the world. Maria Montessori developed her method in the early twentieth century, but her deepest conviction was not about reading or mathematics. It was about peace. She believed that if we want a more peaceful world, we must begin with the child. " Establishing lasting peace ," she wrote, " is the work of education ." In a Montessori classroom, peace is not simply a topic that is taught. It is something that is lived. Children of different ages work alongside one another, learning to collaborate rather than compete. They develop independence, not because they are left alone, but because they are trusted. They are given real work that matters, real choices that shape their day, and real consequences that teach them to think carefully about their actions. This freedom, however, is always balanced with responsibility. Children learn to care for their environment, to resolve conflicts with words, and to consider the needs of others as naturally as they consider their own. Grace and courtesy are woven into the fabric of every day, not as rules imposed from the outside, but as habits grown from the inside. Montessori also understood something profound about the child's relationship with the world itself. Through Cosmic Education, the sweeping story of the universe, the Earth, life, and human civilization, children come to see themselves not as isolated individuals, but as participants in something vast and interconnected. They learn that every living thing depends on every other, that the air we breathe was shaped by ancient organisms, that the words we speak carry the fingerprints of countless civilizations. This perspective cultivates humility, wonder, and a deep sense of responsibility toward the world and toward one another. What you will see today in our classrooms is a reflection of that vision. The quiet concentration, the purposeful movement, the children helping one another: these are not accidents. They are the fruits of an environment carefully prepared to bring out the best in each child. Montessori education does not promise to solve the world's problems. But it does promise to raise children who are capable of empathy, who know how to listen, who find meaning in contributing to something greater than themselves. And in that promise lies something quietly extraordinary: the possibility that the children in these rooms might one day help build the more peaceful world we are all hoping for.
Afternoon In Elementary

Afternoon In Elementary

By Wellington Pontes Filho • February 12, 2026
An Afternoon in Elementary is a wonderful opportunity for preschool and Kindergarten families to experience the Montessori Elementary environment and learn more about this exciting next step in their child's journey. This event is designed to help parents understand how Montessori Elementary builds naturally upon the foundation established in the primary years. In Elementary, children continue to grow as independent, confident learners while engaging with big ideas in math, language, science, and cultural studies through hands-on materials, collaborative work, and guided exploration. This year, our An afternoon in Elementary event was again a great success, bringing together children and their parents for a variety of engaging activities. These activities were led by Elementary students, with the support and supervision of Elementary staff and parent volunteers. The participants enjoyed the wonderful freshly baked French bread, explored the wonders of magnetism through experiments, and discovered a love of botany at the gardening and pot-decorating stations. There was great excitement during the math relay and while sewing geometric shapes. In Elementary, we also care for the health of both mind and body, which was reflected in the sports relay station. Creativity shone through our arts and crafts and face-painting stations. It was gratifying to see our Elementary students confidently engage with the younger students with empathy and warmth, guiding them through each activity and sharing their enthusiasm throughout the event. Elementary parent ambassadors were essential to the event's success. They warmly welcomed Primary families, shared information about our Elementary Montessori program, answered questions, and guided children between activity stations. Their support of the Elementary teachers helped create a smooth, welcoming, and engaging experience for all. We know that transitioning to Elementary can bring questions about readiness, independence, and academic expectations. An Afternoon in Elementary offers a space to see how children are supported socially, emotionally, and academically, and how the Elementary environment nurtures curiosity, critical thinking, and a love of learning. We want to extend a sincere thank you to our community for participating in the Afternoon in Elementary event . Their curiosity, enthusiasm, and joy made the event truly special. Warmly, Wellington Pontes-Filho Elementary Program Director